Archive | February, 2012

Remember Me?

23 Feb

So, so sorry for all of you still following. I know it’s been ages. WordPress tells me there are still a few checking in. Thanks.

Remember that time when I blogged about the ridiculousness of my job? So here’s a little update. That position “was eliminated” a week and a half ago. I was literally walking out the door, coat on, purse in hand, see you later thankyouverymuch, when my seriously inept manager calls me into his office to inform me that “the company is not turning around and we’re going to have to eliminate your position….”

Now, obviously, I wasn’t doing much there. At all. But it’s not for my lack of work ethic. No one was ever there or ever gave me anything to do. I get why they let me go, but I will miss the paycheck. So… now it’s back on the job hunt. Which is the effing worst. It’s a job in itself to find a job. I have to prepare myself to face the wall of rejection that is sure to come. I do qualify for unemployment, which I had to figure out a little by trial and error. I’ve never had to accept unemployment before and it’s not a good feeling whatsoever. Let’s just hope I can secure something soon. Like, really soon.

Having an open day makes me so so so much more lazy than being busy. What is that? My motivation is zapped and my couch, my laptop, my bed, and Netflix are my boyfriends in between sending out resumes. It’s an insanely icky slump to get out of. Last week, Valentine’s Day specifically, was pretty much an all time low. It’s a crap day anyway for someone who is perpetually single, but this year involved: recent unemployment, weird/confusing dating stuff (remember my early posting on a guy I was dating?  Yeah. Him. He’s confusing. I am 98.5% certain it’s going nowhere), only getting flowers from my Dad. Seriously, my Dad is awesome and sends me flowers every year no matter what, but it would be excellent for once to have flowers from someone other than my Dad. The loneliness of moving up here combined with all this other stuff really hit me. Hard. I do feel better now. I’m not depressed. Still unemployed, but feeling better.

My family and friends? They’re the best. I am such a lucky girl to have them, even if most of them aren’t a short drive away anymore. Thinking about them and thinking about the things I’m (dislike this word…it’s used too much, but…) blessed with are truly helping me get out of this slump. And of course, little Blog, I’ll keep blogging. Sorry for not posting sooner. I was too busy with cookies and Netflix. Now I am off for a jog because I am running a half marathon in June! Which is big insanely huge for me. I still need to put in the time since I am not a natural runner at all.

Love, Kenz

Oh, and, um, yeah…. If you know of any jobs in the twin cities area (seriously anything!) let me know!


All In A Day’s Work

7 Feb

Someone could reasonably ask me “What’s wrong with you?” if he or she took a look at my resume. I had a couple great internship experiences in theatre management. One lasted a summer in Chicago and another lasted a year in Phoenix after I graduated college. I loved the work environment, I loved what I got to do, loved my co-workers. It can be really frustrating as well, and I know even the best of them (us?) can experience burnout. Regardless, when my year in Phoenix came to a sad close, I was still excited about the prospect of continuing this career path. Being disgustingly poor, I needed to come home to Des Moines where I would have the support of my friends and family. Oh, and a super cheap place to live lined up. Turns out? Getting one of the very few openings in my desired field in Des Moines was next to impossible with my lack of experience. In other words, internships (though knowledge building and so, so useful) mean nothing to someone in charge of hiring. Well…maybe that’s not the case for everyone. But this is my experience, our blog, go with me.

After a stint temping at a large investment company, I found myself gainfully employed working at a legal insurance company in Des Moines. All thanks to a couple friends who already worked there who put in a recommendation for me. Dream job? Nope. Was I excited? Yes. I was excited to make and save some moolah. And I was there for over 2 years. But I knew, I just knew that my life needed a big change. I wasn’t fulfilled. I knew I wanted to move to the twin cities for a very long time before I actually grew the cojones to do it. So I got a second job working at an emergency family shelter. That last year in Des Moines was sooo busy. I always worked at least one, sometimes two shifts on the weekend. I also had some shifts in the week, which meant on those days my work schedule would last from 8:30am-10:00pm. Clearly was not a fan of those days. But (but!) I was really able to build up my savings for my move as I never spent my shelter earnings. Thanks past me for foresight!!

Because…I was unemployed for 2 months when I moved up here. That savings was so essential. Intellectually I knew I should have relaxed and enjoyed my time off more. When I wasn’t applying for jobs, I slept in, became besties with Netflix, enjoyed a thoroughly lazy existence. I couldn’t stand it. I think I was too programmed to be go, go, go all the time. I interviewed with a large arts organization in St. Paul, which would have been so amazing. Didn’t get the job. Super disappointed. I just kept applying for anything and everything I came across. One day while temping at a warehouse (Oh yes, that happened! It kind of deserves its own future post) I got a call from a truck dealership. I guess I applied for their receptionist administrative assistant (sounds better, no?) position. I got called into an interview the next day and was hired the next week. Whew! Relief! A job! A job in the trucking industry? Oh God. A…job…working…with…truckers… wah wahhhhh!!! This is how my brain operates, you see. Pay is o-kay. Enough to pay the bills with a little extra, but the purse strings are somewhat tighter than before.

The job itself? By far, hands down, no contest, the easiest job I have ever had. Ever. I kind of just sit here all day and have no actual responsibilities except for answering the phone and handling a few projects here and there. Am I typing this blog while at work? Why, yes I am! How do I get away with this? For 2 good reasons. A) No one gives me anything to do and hardly notices me when they are here. B) No one is ever here. I have some proof of this. I swear these photos were taken consectively one after the other just now.

Yes, everyone is gone. Has been for a while now. And somehow this is just normal. And somehow it’s okay that I, ME, am left as the only person here supposed to answer questions about trucks?? Not a wise decision. Not wise a’tall. It’s always a little quite embarassing to explain to people that I work in the trucking industry. I especially detest telling people who give me a condescending laugh with a “Huh ho! That’s what you get for studying theatre!” quip. Those people need to go off themselves. My HUGE justification in my newfound employment situation is that I am also in grad school. For Arts & Cultural Management. No, I am not going to explain “what that is” to another person! It’s pretty self explanatory. Think about it. But I know more than anything else, I KNOW that this job is only temporary. I’m going to do what I love someday. Just watch me.


Also, my peeps in the trucking world are (as you’d imagine) super sophisticated. They like to decorate and have a wide range of tastes…from animal to bird.

You Guys…

6 Feb

Guess what? I am (really, almost completely) certain one of my neighbors died. I came home on Wednesday night from Breaking Dawn and there was a really gross, strange smell permeating through my hallway. I’ve never smelled anything like it before. On Thursday the smell hit me like a brick. It’s hard to describe other than just an extremely pungent, rotten smell. By Friday a machine was set up outside the door down the hall. The smell, though lingering, did progressively get better. I happened to pass the door on my way to the workout room yesterday and saw this sign.

I Googled this when I got home and one of the reasons someone would use an ozone machine is to get rid of the smell of a corpse. There are tons of old people that live near me. I’ve racked my brain to think of what else it could possibly be… I’m fairly convinced that there was a rotting corpse just down the hall from me for several days. Gives me the creeps.




Breaking Down Breaking Dawn

3 Feb

I know. This post is uber (do people still say uber?) late, but I’ve only just seen the movie. Two days ago I went to a cheap movie theatre to see Breaking Dawn Pt 1 with some fabulous girls from college. We had wine beforehand and much to the annoyance of the rest of the audience, some debaucherous heckling of the movie ensued. One friend (and follower of this little blog!) asked me to write up a post on it. Got to give the people what they want!

I’ll admit it. I’ve read the books. All of them. It was the year after college and I was in Phoenix. All the sudden this thing called Twilight was everywhere. It was monolpolizing my beloved Entertainment Weekly, it was on tv, friends were talking about it. Since I love pop culture, I had to be in the know about this phenomenon. Being poorer than ever that year I used “Target Library.” I might still be waiting for a copy to read if I used the legit library. Target library is when you buy a book and read it so carefully that the pages or cover do not get crinkled and then return it. Ethical? Nope. Not at all. Haters gonna hate, but if you only knew my salary that year…  So I read them and they were awful. But I read all 4. Why? Because I hated them so much my anger seemed to fuel my reading of them. Once I finished I felt like I may have lost a few brain cells in the process. The protagonist is this horrible, personality-less, clutzy, little waif with no interests or passions other than her boyfriend or maybe cooking and cleaning for her father.

Stephanie Meyer’s definition of love is that you should obsess over someone until they notice you, develop “irrevocable” love after a conversation about the weather or science labs, and then become a martyr for that person. Bella seems to get off on being a martyr. Her martyrdom isn’t ever justifiable. It’s only ever because she has the lowest self esteem of any character ever and truly believes she is dating someone who is better than perfect. This martyrdom culminates in Breaking Dawn when Bella weds perfect Edward at 18 and becomes preggers with a half human/half vampire baby. I’m no sex ed teacher, but it does take live cells to make a baby, am I right? Not sure how that worked out, but Meyer hopes maybe we can suspend our disbelief enough to believe in the magic…or something. The fetus grows at a remarkably accelerated speed and slowly kills Bella as it grows. Conflict ensues with the Cullens and werewolves (the ultimate frenemies btw). The baby is born, Bella gets shot up with Edward’s vemon, and Jacob the werewolf falls in love with the baby (whaaa?) and bum..Bum…BUM…Bella becomes a vampire.

And then, of course, there is the movie adaptation. Kristen Stewart is actually the perfect person to play Bella, if only in the sense that they’re both achingly awkward, sullen, and pained-looking most of the time. I have no idea how some people think those qualities are endearing. I have this theory that Taylor Lautner sounds exactly like JTT. Here’s an obscure site from someone that seems to agree with me. I think that RobPatt is kind of just riding the wave. I saw something online where each of the three main actors was asked if they would be fans of the series if they weren’t cast in the films. RobPatt was the only one who said he wouldn’t be. I appreciate the honesty.

The film starts the night before the wedding, and although she looks pained and unsure about the big day, she says her feet are “burning hot” or something. You know. As opposed to cold feet. Get it? The wedding takes place  in the middle of an ethereal forest (obviously) and every last detail is manicured to perfection. Bella looks like she needs to pop a Midol while walking down the aisle. Several good and “vegetarian” vampires are invited to the wedding. I guess none of the humans think it’s extremely odd that all the Cullens and their friends have creepy, unearthly, glowing gold eyes. NBD. There is a seamless transition to the reception where we witness one of the only redeeming qualities of the movie in the form of Anna Kendrick. Love her. Love her reaction to the shamelessly overdone wedding cake. Even her speech (Everyone gives a speech at the reception. Is that normal?) is sort of funny. Anna Kendrick = best part of the series/most talented actor they cast. Anywaysss, there is a rumble in the woods when Jacob (who decided to grace us with his brooding presence) gets royally pissed off when Kristen Bella (ah, who can tell the diff?) suggests her honeymoon will be as “normal as anyone else’s.” Jacob flies into a rage and must be restrained by other werewolf buddies while Edward stands posessively in front of Bella. Such drama!

The happy couple soon takes off to an undisclosed honeymoon location. We see they end up in Rio and get to be carefree and loving amongst all the happy natives dancing in the street. How ethnic! But wait! Rio isn’t the destination! They soon hop in a speed boat off to a private island called Isle Esme where candles are lit (like, who are they getting to come light candles 5 minutes before they arrive and then leave??) and the decor is Pottery Barn meets beach house. Here’s where it gets good, folks. Bella fidgets awkwardly while Edward suggests a cool swim. Bella asks for some “human minutes” aka she needs to take a sh*t or something. We see her in the bathroom rummaging through her bags and discovers that tricky Alice has packed her bags full of expensive lingerie! Curse you, Alice! She is too awkward and freakish to be seen in anything but sweats on her honeymoon! Yes, she married the man vampire, but how can she possibly look sexy for him on their honeymoon?! Gasp! She finally decides it’s not entirely inappropriate for her husband to see her naked and goes out to the beach. Sexy time begins! Cut to the next morning when Bella wakes up blissfully happy, yet bruised all over. Edward punishes himself and vows to never touch her again while Bella sullenly tries to explain it was “as good as it can get for a human.” First time and bruising? Methinks not, Bella.

They proceed to do fun island-y things until the day Bella barfs up her chicken. She’s got a lil vampire bun in the oven. Oh, and there is some native/indigenous/tribal woman they’ve hired to clean who just knnooows Edward a vampire, or whatever her ethnic interpretation is…evil demon or something. All this woman (I guess her tribal heritage gives her some sort of sixth sense…it’s never explained) has to do is touch Bella’s belly to know something eeeeeevil is cooking in there. How convenient for this tribeswoman to have these undisclosed abilites. She mutters something like “muerte” or whatever the Portuguese equivilent is to explain “death” was waiting for Bella. This tribeswoman cleaning lady really bugs me. Obvies Edward speaks Portugese. We’ve heard him. She couldn’t possibly talk in a full sentence? No, she can only “sense” things and mutter one word phrases. It makes her more like cavewoman/removed from society, etc. Annoying.

Flash forward when they’re back to Washington: Bella’s pregnancy has continued to advance at an alarming rate. The make up people did a pretty good job of making Bella look freaking disgusting. Edward wants to get rid of the “little nudger.” (I knooow, such a gag-worthy phrase!) Bella loves her nudgie nudger and refuses. Suddenly Edward can hear the baby’s thoughts and knows it loves its parents. Case to be made for life begins at conception, Ms Meyer, eh??? Edward realizes at long last that this little nudger is good and not a monster like he is! Jacob is back in the picture and wants to protect Bella from his wolf pack who are hell bent on killing the monster, and obvies Bella too. Jacob won’t stand for it and in a HILARIOUS wolf-form confrontation stands up to what’s-his-face-pack-leader and runs away.

Stuff happens and Bella gets more pregnant/more nasty looking. They finally have an idea for Bella to drink blood. Shocker, I know, but that’s what her little bloodsucking fetus wants. She drinks some and with bloody teeth and lips and demented eyes she looks up to say, “It tastes good.” I giggled.

Basically this continues on for a while until one day she drops her cup of blood. She is much a martyr that Heaven forbid someone do something for her like pick up a styrofoam cup (also, I see no reason why the Cullens would ever have a supply on styrofoam cups on hand, whatevs). When she reaches down her back cracks in a really gross way and Edward has to chew through Bella to get to the baby. Without pain meds, I am pretty certain Bella would just die right there. But hey, I’m no doctor! What ensues is the grossest, yammiest mouth noises ever. So gross. Baby is born looking about 6 months old. Bella is awake long enough to mutter, “So…beautiful…” before stiffening up like a corpse. Luckily, Edward has a syringe of his vemon waiting which he plunges directly into her weak heart. He then proceeds to bite her all over. I don’t know why, but we laughed particularly hard at this. The audience then sees “science at work” as a magic coating of vampire DNA-stuff works its way over all her battered human veins, etc. Apparently this is super painful, but Bella continues to lay still as a corpse. I guess the worst thing that could happen would be people seeing her suffer. Effing martyr.

Jacob thinks Bella has died and then decides to go kill the baby she “died” to have. Duh. But as soon as he looks into little Reneesme’s face (Yeah. Reneesme. Eeew.) he imprints as wolves do, and goes from wanting to kill her to wanting to be with her forever. Yeah. A baby. Seems kiiiind of weird. There is a little bit of a scuffle between the wolves and Cullens before Jacob intervenes and dramatically exclaims, “If you kill her, you kill me!” and they back off. Then Bella’s eyes open and they’re blood red. Cue credits.

Much to the chagrin of the Twihards in the audience, watching this with friends after consuming wine was by far the funniest thing I have done in a while. I highly recommend it.


Ali Has A Superiority Complex

3 Feb

I wasn’t able to admit until very recently that I have a bit of a superiority complex.  Not that I think I’m better than absolutely everyone, but when I decide that someone has done something significantly “less than”, I tend to hop onto my high-horse very quickly -we’re talking John Wayne moves.  (I think John Wayne had moves when he got on a horse?  I guess I wouldn’t know since I think most Westerns are boring as hell.)  I could probably chalk this attitude up to being the oldest child on both sides of my family and being given more praise than any normal person should have (can’t thank you enough for it though, loving relations!).

Most of the time my disdain for the ineptitude of others stems from a lot of the general public not being aware of proper manners or social mores.  These are things people should just be aware of, but sadly, not everyone is born with innate hyper-awareness.  My opinion?: They freakin’ should be, the mouth-breathing cretins.  If people fail to know or act on certain accepted rules of human interaction I either A) Want to maim them in some creative way (i.e., plucking their eyeball out with a fork, sucking the blood from their face, etc.), or B) Worry that they’ll eventually drown in their own spit.  Here are some of the social faux pas and dunce moves that really get me (with examples, of course):

#1 Coarse Conversationalists – We’ve all been the subject of a put-down or worse, a backhanded compliment.  However, I feel that it is almost worse for both parties when the Put-Downer is unaware of just what they are saying to the Put-Downee.  A great example came a couple weeks ago from one of my very first students.  It was the first day of classes, and the professor I assist had just completed her lecture.  A few of the students approached me to let me know that they had to go sit in on other classes they wanted to get into, and that they might not be at the recitation that I lead.  Being the “cool teacher” I am, I let them know I was fine with it -until one girl approached me with her story.  She told her spiel about wanting to get into a Psychology class that was at the same time as the recitation, but she also told me that she might not get in, meaning she would show up for class the following week.  I wished her luck, but immediately wanted to rescind it when she said, “We won’t really be doing anything in recitation today anyway, will we?”  Ummm excuse me, Little Miss Teen Beat?  What I wanted to tell her was, “Oh yes, of course I would have class just to waste your precious time.  I was planning on sitting silently while staring at all of you for 5o minutes!” but I also wanted to say, “I guess your crack whore mother didn’t teach you proper manners, did she?”  (I don’t take well to being insulted in any capacity)  Though I was dumbfounded, I know that the girl probably wasn’t even aware of how rude her question was.  So these things often go.  Unfortunately for this girl, she ended up in my class.  I’ll make a marginal effort not to hold it against her.

#2 Ignorance Enablers – It never ceases to amaze me the things that people will admit they do not know.  Some may see this as a great act of honesty, whereas I can’t help but feel embarrassed and ashamed on behalf of the person since they obviously aren’t feeling it for themselves.  Another side to this whole issue is that these same people often refuse to use very simple channels to rid themselves of their ignorance.  I ran into this problem this week while working in my job as a writing tutor.  On this particular day I was tutoring a girl who wanted help with a journalism assignment.  She was a nice young lady, but a bit, erm, dense, if you will?  She wanted assistance reviewing an article about how employers view the millennial generation as “entitled”; this article was of particular interest to her since she is a part of this generation . . . but she sadly had no idea what the word “entitled” meant.  Yes I know -I was shocked and appalled too.  Even worse was when I offered to show her how to get to Merriam-Webster online, but she let me know that she would “figure it out later”.  This was as we were trying to finish her paper.  She also consistently spelled the term “millennial” wrong, though it was written correctly in the article roughly 5,000 times.  Since the article was sitting right next to her this meant, basically, that she was just refusing to turn her head slightly to the left.  If the crop of humans just a few years younger than myself is really that lazy, I hope I’m dead by 46.

#3 Story Interrupters – This incident doesn’t happen weekly, or even monthly, but when it does happen it never ceases to irk me immensely.  You’ve all probably noted my love of telling stories (if you haven’t, I hope you’re not one of the people I’m writing about in this post).  Though I love telling stories in this blog, nothing beats a live retelling of Ali lore.  I get to use my arms, hands, facial expressions, voice inflections and impersonations . . . Truly, it is a sight to behold.  Looks something like this:

Usually I don't have a flame coming out of my head. Usually.

So imagine the murderous rage I feel when someone cuts in with their own retelling and STEALS MY STORY THUNDER!!  The worst thing is that often these story seizers are people who weren’t even involved with my tale, but have heard it before (Just because you know the story doesn’t mean you get to tell it. You should be bawling and thankful at the privilege of getting to hear it again.)  Of course, since the people who know my stories are some of my nearest and dearest, I don’t quite feel so murderous.  However, it does leave me miffed and a bit sulky.  I still love these folks a ton, but let’s just set a rule: don’t interrupt Ali when she’s telling her stories.  Also, to those general interrupters of everyday conversation: the next time I hear you interrupting, I am not afraid to flick or bop you on the nose like a dog that crapped on the carpet.  Embarrassing, right?  If you don’t realize that you are embarrassing yourself with this rudeness, allow me to assist you.  No one wants to have snot potentially jarred out of their nose during daily conversation.

#4 Identity Teasers – Everyone has something about themselves or their heritage that they cannot stand to be teased about.  For some people it’s the already-touchy area of their religion, or perhaps a hobby they have, or a favorite sports team.  My personal area of sensitivity is my status as a Forever Iowa Girl.  While I am a very proud Iowan, like most people who move out of the state, I have had to defend my homeland like mad in the face of people who, frankly, often think they know a lot when they really know jack squat.  One of these people is my former boss, a transplant to Boulder who is originally from the east coast.  While I think he liked me as a worker (I pride myself on being a good employee even at the worst of jobs) this man would not give it a rest with the Iowa teasing.  He was also a big know-it-all, but he admitted to not knowing much about Iowa besides his opinion that only hillbilly farmers live there (obviously he didn’t see the Iowa Nice YouTube video).  For some reason, he didn’t see the irony in teasing me for something he was ignorant about.  While he made several unprofessional jabs at me (among his many, many unprofessional remarks at the office), the one that really sent me over the edge was when he called me out for calling soft drinks “pop”.  As we all know, there is often a popular name for soft drinks in all areas of the country, but I see no reason to tease about it.  However, he felt the need to tell me that my “Iowa was showing”, as if this was something to be ashamed of.  Oh how desperately I wanted to reply that his “Self-important East Coaster/Boulder hippie was showing” every time he made a loud, f-word infused rant of his opinion for the whole office to hear and wore his Birkenstock sandals (his feet -and especially his toenails -would probably make the most seasoned pedicurist pass out).  However, I feel I got my victory when this map began appearing on Facebook last week:

Care to notice what name for carbonated beverages most Coloradans use?  I’m sure he’s seen this since he did spend a majority of his office time on Facebook.  Not everyone can have the Iowa work ethic, suckah.

#5 Well-Meaning Mortification Machines – There are some people who are so unaware of themselves that I can’t feel embarrassed for them because I’m too busy being embarrassed for myself.  I haven’t encountered this type often, but of course I would run into one just last week while I was at the grocery store.  I had gone into Safeway to fully stock my kitchen and was helping one of the workers bag my plethora of food stuffs when the cashier, a middle-aged woman, gave me a meaningful look.  This conversation ensued:

Cashier Lady: *Points to man leaving the store* “That guy is so gross.”

Me: (Very awkward) “Oh? Um. Yeah?”

Cashier Lady: “He was STARING at your BUTT!  I just think that is SO disrespectful!!”  *Turns to lady in line behind me*  “Don’t you think so?  I mean, his eyes were just BORING into her!  What a creep!”

Lady in Line: “Oh I saw.” *To me*  “He was definitely staring at you, honey. Gross!”

The women continued their conversation about the evils of staring at someone’s bum without me, unaware that I was rendered completely silent out of titanic embarrassment.  I don’t feel this way often, and I just wished that neither of them had said anything.  What was that guy going to do?  While I didn’t appreciate the fact that maybe he was staring at a body part of mine that really isn’t much to look at in the first place, I would have handled it if I’d actually caught the guy.  I’m sure he was just your run-of-the-mill asshole, if indeed he was staring, but the point is: I really didn’t need to know.  Their pointing it out to me actually didn’t make me feel like I was empowered by the knowledge, but like I should feel horrible and degraded for a while for having been objectified.  Ultimately, they made me feel more like a piece of meat than he would have.  Perhaps it was an odd reaction, but I think Cashier Lady should have just glared at him for me and left it at that.  Sometimes it IS better to be happily unaware.

#6 Uncomfortable Confessors – Perhaps the most prevalent group of socially-unaware people are the Uncomfortable Confessors.  Who hasn’t had that person who volunteers any and all information from the state of their sex life to the last time they made a bowel movement?  While this has happened to me almost too many times to mention, a notable incident occurred this past summer while I was back in my hometown for a wedding.  I had been pre-warned by my mother that an old acquaintance of ours who would be at the wedding had recently gone through a divorce because her husband cheated on her.  Knowing that I would likely ask about her husband if I saw her, my mother wanted me to be prepared (she wants to protect her child from awkwardness, but sadly it follows me wherever I go).  Inevitably, I ran into this acquaintance at the reception, and in my preparedness, asked her what activities she was up to, what her kids were doing, etc.  Anything that didn’t directly touch the subject of her husband I felt was fair game.  This was all for naught, however, since she insisted on asking me if I had heard about her divorce (I can’t remember how I responded because I was probably too busy vomiting down the front of myself from awkwardness).  She went on to describe the details of said divorce, and any story she told thereafter was labeled as being “before” or “after” her husband “went crazy”.  I felt very sorry for her, but her extreme detail (which she shared within earshot of about half the town) left me feeling like I had walked in on someone in the bathroom.  This is definitely why I advocate having a great group of friends to share all of your dirty details with; it prevents you from sharing them with people you only see at your local community center every four years or so.

I’m sure many of you have plenty of stories about these unaware people who live among us.  Feel free to share them here if you do.  And for those of you who think I am as rude and/or blunt as the people I’ve described here, hear this: at least I know better.  And doesn’t that make all the difference?