The Key to Happiness

31 Mar

The key to happiness when one is unemployed is to actually leave your place of residence at least once a day. Obvious, right? Took me a bit to figure this out. Like until yesterday. Yesterday was really no different than any other day except for my state of mind around 6:30 pm. I had spent the day doing the following activities:

  • Applying for jobs. It is so hard not to sound like an ass clown in cover letters. Am I right? There is a job I found (long shot, I’ve seen the job posting on numerous arts web sites, meaning I’ll have some fierce competition) working for a billion dollar…yeah you heard me…billion dollar (I truly can’t even wrap my mind around that kind of money) endowment that gives grants to arts organizations. Essentially, I could help give money to artists! It would be so freeeeaking awesome. I tried to sound like I’m just the kind of young and passionate person they’re looking for, but I think I came off as a brown noser. Cover letters. Yuck. Someone just hire me pleaseandthankyou. I’m cool, I swear. Just hire me.
  • Working on an annotated bibliography. For my communications class we’re supposed to pick a topic within our field of study and research a trending topic. My topic is social media and Generation Y donors. Obvies I heart social media. Hello, blog! Hello, Facebook! I am Generation Y so the topic is super relevant to me. The catch is that 80% of my sources have to be scholarly journal articles. Oh, what? Academics aren’t writing about this stuff? Boooooo… I have three sources so far. Seven to go.
  • Watching Gossip Girl. Cause didn’t you hear? I am caught up with Vampire Diaries. Oh, God. The truth hurts. And now my dear little friend, Mr. Netflix, has guided me to Gossip Girl. I actually hate it. I could walk up to Serena van der Woodsen (people are named things like this??) and punch her in the face. Yet I keep watching. What is wrong with me?

And then it was 6:30. And all the sudden I knew if I didn’t leave my apartment I was going to go insane. So what to do alone on a Friday night? Bars? No. A thousand times no! I am hard pressed to think of a creepier or more uncomfortable way to spend my time than going to a bar alone. Plus, I wouldn’t even meet people because I’m 98% certain I would spend the whole time in a corner, playing Angry Birds on my phone, pretending I was texting the fake friends who are just obviously late to meet me. So no. Just no. The only reasonable conclusion was to see a movie alone. I think I can handle being alone in a dark room with others eating snacks.

I saw Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. Unless you’re in my predicament and need to get out for the sake of your sanity, just RedBox it later. Or if you want to see it skip ahead. I just re-read what I wrote, and, um, SPOILER ALERT! I give the whole plot away. Oops. It had Ewan McGregor, the love of my life, and Emily Blunt, who I wish I was, starring in it. All things considered, it didn’t seem like a terrible choice. I’d already seen The Hunger Games and have less than no desire to see John Carter and all the other garbage that’s out right now. The premise of the movie is that there is a sheik from the Yemen who owns properties in Scotland. In Scotland he has discovered a passion for the sport of Salmon fishing and wishes to bring it to the Yemen. Emily Blunt works for the high class PR firm representing the sheik. She contacts Ewan McGregor who is a Doctor working in the Fish and Agriculture Dept. of the UK. Dr. Ewan (what he shall henceforth be known as since I can’t remember his character’s name and am too lazy to look it up on IMDB) is extremely reluctant to be included in the project since he believes it will never work. Ms Emily is dating a British soldier who is shipped off to Afghanistan right as their relationship is getting good. Her time is focused on getting Dr. Ewan to sign on to the project and worrying about her ridiculously handsome British soldier boyfriend. The sheik is sort of this all-knowing, wise ruler type who believes Dr. Ewan should have more faith than he does. I hate it when that happens :). There are scenes set in Scotland that made me want to drive myself to the airport and board a plane for Edinburgh. I’ve been twice and loooooove it. Any kind of Scottish Highland picture or scene sends pangs through me heart. Ahhhh. I digress… As I predicted would happen, the hot British soldier boyfriend goes MIA. Now it’s she who doesn’t come into work and has given up caring about salmon (I hate when that happens), while randomly it’s Dr. Ewan who now believes it will work! Huh, when did this sudden shift happen for him? Ms Emily finally decides to distract herself with work and they all pick up and go to the Yemen. A love connection occurs between Dr. Ewan and Ms Emily. I knew it was coming. But let me just say that as much as I heart both of these actors, they have zero chemistry. Zero. It was so forced and unbelievable. Ah well. As expected, MIA boyfriend turns up and she has to choose. I hate when that happens, too. She’s all set to choose newly found, still gorgeous, British soldier man around the same time that the salmon are released into the river. This is a big PR to-do since Britain wants to promote a good “Anglo-Yemeni” relationship. Here is where the corny caught up with me… They had to use farm salmon since all the British fisherman were up in arms about Britain’s natural fish being transported to the Yemen. Will farm salmon want to “run”, even though for generations they haven’t? Or is it in their DNA to swim upstream? The suspense! The CGI salmon are dumped into the river and start to drift downstream. Oh, sad day. Until….! One salmon turns around and starts to battle upstream! Yay! Go salmon! I was strangely proud of that animated salmon. Obviously all the rest follow it upstream. But wait! Some insurgents who don’t want a salmon filled river (I still don’t get their motivations…) turn on the water from the dam FULL BLAST! We see some animated salmon getting blown backwards by the gush. I actually felt really badly for them. I don’t know why. I just did. All seems lost. Ms Emily is going to leave with hottie soldier boy. The fish are dead. Until! Look! There are still some salmon alive. It’s a sign. We all should stay and rebuild the project. Ms Emily should choose Dr. Ewan. The end.

I actually can’t believe I wrote that much about the movie. Sorry. But yeah. I got out of the apartment and then went to Wal-Mart. Classy. But the little act of leaving my apartment definitely restored a little sanity.

Today I went to a coffee shop near Macalaster, bound and determined to finish the bibliography. I’m also pretending that I go to Macalaster and belong with all these 20 year old’s with skinny jeans and ironic mustaches. I ordered a chai, which I haven’t ordered for a while…cause…yeah…turns out they are full of calories. Lame. Here is me happily drinking the deliciousness.

And then I settle myself in. Let’s GET TO WORK. And then I see this when I try to go to my school’s library page.

The server is down. And this thing is due Monday. Someone better be working on this. Grrrr……

This is so dumb. I have to work on the bibliography here. Not at home with Gossip Girl in the background. Plus I really can’t go back to that dreaded place (where I live) so soon. Thus the reason I am bloggin’ away about the trivialities of my life and movies about salmon. Oh, and there were definitely people near me as I was taking these pictures. Oh, the things I’ll do for you, blog!

I’m outtie. Let’s see if the server is back up. Fingers crossed it is. Have a great weekend!

 

 

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