Something I Will Never Understand

4 Aug

So Kenz and I started this little blog to give voice to our ideas, and to provide a space to talk about our misadventures which often have to do with the world of dating and (often disastrous) attempts at romance.  I would like to take a moment to rant a bit about relationships, and why they have been made so difficult to maintain by modern society.

It’s no big secret that I am not the most confident lass when it comes to relationships.  I like them, but they also scare the living crap out of me.  I really try hard even when I’m just “talking” to a guy.  I want to make that person comfortable enough to open up to me, and I want to let them know that I’m interested without being creepy.  After getting through that precarious step, I work really hard to be honest with that person so everything our relationship is based on is real.  Nothing worse than a guy falling for you just because of some assumption or idealistic idea he has about you.  All of this is a bit grueling, but that’s the work I think it takes to begin a good, solid relationship.

I really care about making my relationships, even my non-romantic ones, work.  So you can imagine how much it chaps me when I see, or hear about, people cheating and lying, and people just accept it.  I’ve seen it happen in real life as well as in Hollywood, and let me tell you, it never stops making me livid.  Nobody deserves to be cheated on (well, maybe except a former cheater), and I just think that there’s a culture that currently exists that absolutely permits -and sometimes encourages -this behavior.  Yes, everyone is mad at “K-Stew” right now for what she did to “R-Patts”, but I think she’s getting grilled because, let’s face it, she’s probably the least likable person ever.  However, it was a video about this incident that got me thinking about how we view cheating in our culture.  It’s from a dorky Hollywood gossip show, but I think it speaks loudly, nonetheless.

sbt-women-cheats.cnn

So . . . you did hear the part about the guy who actually started a Web site so people can cheat?  I wasn’t experiencing temporary insanity when that happened?  Okay, then I have to say: I WANT TO ROUNDHOUSE THIS GREEDY MOTHER IN THE FACE.  It’s hard enough to have good relationships without this man putting up his Web site to normalize cheating behavior.  He and the other woman, “Siggy” I believe, talk about how it’s “human nature” to cheat.  No, I do not believe this for a second.  I think it is human nature to fall victim to temptation and be selfish, BUT, the reason humans stand out above any other species is because we can determine right and wrong and, GASP!, we can use our reason, and choose to do the right thing.  That’s the premise that our whole society is based on.  There’s a reason that we’re not all running around smacking each other in the teeth with spiked clubs (at least not yet).

I’m certainly not perfect, but I could never cheat on someone.  I’ve been with guys who I’ve never called back, (yeah, not great of me, I know) but even though I didn’t care an iota for them, if we were in a relationship and I fell for someone else, I would break it off with them first.  Cheating not only means that you disrespect the person you’re with, you’re also disrespecting the person you’re cheating with as well as yourself.  How can you have a good relationship that started as sneaking around and a lie?  It just doesn’t work, despite what the clip would have you believe about Miss Tori Spelling, who doesn’t count because she’s most likely a cyborg.  I don’t think cheaters should be hated and made social pariahs, though that often ends up happening.  However, I think cheating is highly-avoidable, and if you are ever faced with the cheating dilemma, just don’t.  There was never a very happy ending that started with cheating.  And I would love it if everyone respected themselves and got their fairy-tale endings.

P.S. – Does it tick anyone else off that the women got blamed in the video for cheating, and not the men they were cheating with?  It takes two to tango, A.J. Hammer.

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